She Couldn't
by MusicalWheaten
Summary: She wanted to beat this. She wanted to be happy. She couldn't. Sequel or Prequel to They Couldn't. T for self harm and suicide


Sequel more of Patricia's side of They Couldn't.

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******My time has come, and so I'm gone. To a better place, far beyond. I love you all as you can see. But it's better now, because I'm free. ** ~ Unknown**  
**

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_'It wins'_ she thinks as she glares at the bottle of pills in her hand. The years of fighting it off, it was finally winning. She set them down as she began to work on her note, she didn't know what to say. She wanted to apologize, for being so weak. She was giving up, that was all there was to it. She wasn't strong enough. As she set the pen back down on the desk she tried to remember how it started.

_Flashback_

_"This is going to be the best school year yet don't you think Trix," Joy asked as the pair walked to over to school.  
_

_"Whatever you say Joy," Patricia sighed, she had spent the summer feeling second place, her entire family was obsessed with Piper and how Piper was doing, no one paid any attention to her, she was quickly being left behind. _

_"Fabian will finally notice me and then we'll start going out. Then we'll need to get you a boyfriend, so we can double date," at that point Patricia zoned out. Joy would keep rambling about Fabian forever. The finally reached school, after tossing their stuff into their lockers, they headed for class. Joy quickly took the seat next to Fabian. Amber was next to Mick, Jerome with Alfie, even Mara had found someone else. That left Patricia seating alone. She should've been used to it by now, her parents, now her friends. She found herself snapping the rubber band that was around her wrist against her skin. She found herself enjoying the pain and comfort it brought her.  
_

End Flashback_  
_

It had started small at first the rubber band snapping, then came the clawing of her skin. She needed the release. She wasn't one for feelings, so that's how she dealt. She dealt with hurting herself. The begin one, the burning. That didn't start till Joy's disappearance. Even though Joy had basically abandoned her for Fabian at this point, she was still there some of the time. She remembered the moment very well.

Flashback

_She had been the last one up leaving her alone in the bathroom to get ready. She had been straightening her hair as usual. It wasn't even on purpose she had burnt her hand on accident, but it felt good. The pain from the burn distracting her from the pain she felt from being completely alone. She wasn't sure how it happened next but she soon found herself lifting her shirt and pressing the Instyler against her skin.  
_

End flashback_  
_

The burning wasn't something she did often at first, it was only for crisis, but as she found herself involved in Sibuna, she found herself needing it more. She needed the coping mechanism. She stared again at the paper trying to find the words to say what needed to be said. She struggled at finding them, she needed to find them quick, she needed to end the pain. She began writing, just to write. Whatever would come to mind.

_Dear Anubis residents:_  
_Wow what a funny way for me to start this letter. Why didn't I address to just one of you or to whom it concerns. _

_S_he found herself no longer writing shortly after. She thought about Eddie finding out, it had been a year and a half of hurting herself. He had been helping her. She had been doing better, she might have actually been happy. She couldn't pin point when she began hurting herself again or even why. There had been no Sibuna mystery. No one was missing, everything was normal. Maybe it had been the nightmares that had become a nightly thing. They were various things from her being kidnapped, Rufus going where ever he did, Joy almost dying. She relived them in her dreams. Is that when it started? The constant aching, is that when it came back? Her eyes tried to focus on the paper. She didn't know what to say, they had been trying to help her. She had been letting them help her. Her brain suddenly was finding the words._  
_

_Maybe I didn't because this involves all of you. I know you were helping me. I know you thought I was doing okay. I tried so hard to be happy. I tried so hard not to hurt myself. There became a point where whenever I hurt myself I was only left hating myself. I had all these people who wanted me around and that wanted me to stop. _

She stopped herself again. She wanted to somehow tell them not to blame themselves, that this was what was best for them. She was only dragging them down. They had spent so much time trying to help her, and she couldn't bring them down anymore. She knew it was best for everyone if she just ended it. Ended the pain. They wouldn't need to worry about her, they could move on. They'd be free of her._  
_

_I couldn't I tried so hard for you guys. I wanted to be okay for you guys. It just it became to much. I'm sorry I really am. I just thought without having to worry about me all the time, that maybe you guys could be happy. I pretended to be happy only to make you guys happy. You guys were the most amazing support system, I just wasn't strong enough. You guys mean the world to me and I'm sorry for letting you down._

That was it the end of her letter she had one thing left to say, and that was the last goodbye they'd see from her. She was unsure of how to sign it, but then she knew.

_Goodbye,  
Patricia, Trixie, Yacker_

She tried to let them save her, she couldn't. That was it. She failed. She tried to let them prevent it from happening, but she couldn't. That was it her final goodbye. The words had been written. Someone would find her in the morning. They'd find her note. With that she unscrewed the top of the pill bottle to end the pain.

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You guys are probably like how does she burn herself with a straightener. Instylers my friend... And yeah I wouldn't know or anything... I deleted a bunch of this on accident and my rewrites always suck so..._  
_

Now I'm gonna rant. I got this review on They Couldn't:

"no theirs no peddie sceans"

FIRST OF ALL

there's* scenes*

SECOND NOT ONCE DID I PUT THERE WOULD BE PEDDIE. Look at the summary, and the display picture:

They knew she needed help. She tried hard to get help. They tried their hardest to help her. She tried to let them. They tried to save her. She tried to let them, but they couldn't. Rated T for mentions of self harm.

OKAY NOT ONCE WAS PEDDIE MENTIONED

AND LASTLY THERE WAS AN IMPLIED PEDDIE SCENE.

Okay I'm done. I'm sorry but yeah. I was really pissed off about that review and since this is the prequel/sequel or whatever I felt I could let my feelings go here.


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